Sunday, July 29, 2007
And on a totally personal note...
My triad broke into a possible V yesterday, my two loves Bob and Lyn broke it off after nine years. I know Bob and I are still involved, but I'm not sure about Lyn. Feeling a bit lost and uncomfortable. I haven't lost anybody (yet), but that wonderful energy that the three of us had together is no more.
Right, I haven't posted in a while
Ahh well, life has been busy.
I've been reading a bunch of poly blogs dealing with my own angst, figuring my own shit out and what's come up a few places is labels.
Now I used to rebel against labels, but not so much now, but I think it would be better if people understood that a label can just be a starting point. I identify as a bisexual, polyamorous, kinky, eco-consious, feminist tradeswoman. That says a lot about me, but certainly not *everything* about me. It doesn't say that I make a mean batch of peanut butter chocolate chip cookies, or that I prefer showers to baths and it also doesn't tell you the subtleties of each label, because under each of those labels there is room for difference.
The poly label says I'm not monogamous, my good friend would agree with that, though her style of polyamoury is much different than my own, she prefers to have a primary partner and several secondary relationships, I have found myself happily in a triad. You can be many different degrees on the bisexual spectrum, I find myself somewhere in the middle with a slight lean towards lesbian, I don't think I could tell you where exactly I fit and I know people who sit on either side of me in that regard. I'm kinky and again the spectrum of kink is so large and varied, both in wether you like to top/bottom, dom/sub or all or any combination and what kind of activities. I'd need a whole article to get to the nitty gritty of what my kink is.
Anyway, Labels can be useful in starting off communication, and if there isn't one that you think fits for you, make one up and explain it to people, maybe it will catch on.
I've been reading a bunch of poly blogs dealing with my own angst, figuring my own shit out and what's come up a few places is labels.
Now I used to rebel against labels, but not so much now, but I think it would be better if people understood that a label can just be a starting point. I identify as a bisexual, polyamorous, kinky, eco-consious, feminist tradeswoman. That says a lot about me, but certainly not *everything* about me. It doesn't say that I make a mean batch of peanut butter chocolate chip cookies, or that I prefer showers to baths and it also doesn't tell you the subtleties of each label, because under each of those labels there is room for difference.
The poly label says I'm not monogamous, my good friend would agree with that, though her style of polyamoury is much different than my own, she prefers to have a primary partner and several secondary relationships, I have found myself happily in a triad. You can be many different degrees on the bisexual spectrum, I find myself somewhere in the middle with a slight lean towards lesbian, I don't think I could tell you where exactly I fit and I know people who sit on either side of me in that regard. I'm kinky and again the spectrum of kink is so large and varied, both in wether you like to top/bottom, dom/sub or all or any combination and what kind of activities. I'd need a whole article to get to the nitty gritty of what my kink is.
Anyway, Labels can be useful in starting off communication, and if there isn't one that you think fits for you, make one up and explain it to people, maybe it will catch on.
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